Go On, Go On

It has been a LONG day at work.
Well everyday is a long day at work. I work with kids of all ages so you can just imagine all the noise and add and adhd and so on. By the time I get home everyday Im exhausted.
And relationship problems do not help with the human energy crisis. Ive been trying to deal with people trying to interfere in my relationship and take it for themselves or and its been hard, to say the least. All i can do is forgive and try to put it behind us. And Pray. Which I normally do anyway but the past few weeks Gods voicemail has been full of my pleads and promises and bargain proposals. I try to take it day by day but my days feel more like millions of years at a time. And no one really knows what to say to help me. Which is completely understandable but still. Im alone, surrounded by a million kids, surrounded by the millions of people outside this building. And like I said, its hard. Ive been feeling every emotion that I have ever known in such a short amount of time. Sad, angry, hurt, depressed, alone, happy, lucky, in despair, grieving, laughing, crying, blessed, thankful, wonderous, and the list goes on and on.
Surprisingly none of my friends that I have told have uttered the dreaded "just leave him, hes not worth it". Which I am so happy for. Because he is worth it. I have put countless amount of effort into this relationship to get it to where we were happy and healthy and in love. I love him with everything that I have. And I refuse to let something, no ANYTHING, get in the way of our happiness. Ive heard a lot of apologies, which ones were genuine I have no idea. Ive heard all kinds of i love yous, your beautifuls, and more Im sorrys. I seem to have lost all feeling.
"Nurse, can I get a little less numbing liquid in the IV? It seems Im losing my ability to breathe"
Ive lost track of time. I just want to redeem the complimentary time machine that comes with the You Have To Deal With Major Bullshit This Month package. Seems my coupon for that has expired or is no longer valid. Damn.
So what else is there for me to do but let the healing process run its course. Forgive and TRY to forget. King George says, Go On, even when you see no reason to.
Turns out 21 is not getting off to such a great start. And I havent even taken advantage of my legal drinking abilities yet, boo.
I will survive...can you tell the radio has been my bff lately. I will always love this man. No matter what becomes of us. And I think maybe this is the right time for this to happen. Before we are married with children, because if WE can get through this we can get through anything. I know in my heart, DEEP in my heart right now, REALLY DEEP, that he loves me. For me. And one day God will lead us back to happiness. Back to the place where we were before this. And into our future. Im gna love you forever and ever, forever and ever, amen.