It always seems to be a Monday, left over memories of Sunday always spent with you

Ok so I was supposed to have a meeting this morning at 7am. 6:30 the alram goes off. snoooze. lol. no, well I slept an extra few minutes and then got up and proceeded to wake everyone in the house up. (The puppies were already awake -.-) So im rushing to get dressed and getting my brother up and mom up. These people are so slow....my brother takes 20 minutes to put on his socks and shoes because he INSISTS on weatching tv while he does it; and my mom can never find any shoes even though we have a million different shoes roaming around. well of course we get out of the house at exactly 7! so im rushing to school and out of the car and at the same time im trying to call people to find out where the hell the meeting is....ugh. well I walked around the school to look in the usual places for our meetings and.....NOTHING. so Im getting kinda pissed because no ones answering thier phones....except one person who said the meeting was in the library (it was not) and finally I get a phone call. Its the president of our chapter.
Hello? you called?
hey wheres the meeting?
ohhh its not today....
WHAT.
ohh you didnt get the emailll?
um no.
*note* the Last email we got did not confirm that the meeting was going to be changed. It only asked if ONE person could go on Wednesday. It never said..ok were moving to wednesday...blah blah. No. besides its ONLY one person!
ohhh i sent out an email that asked how was Wednesday for everyone because Oscar couldnt make Tuesday.
umm when?
ohhh you didnt get it im sorryyyy.
um ok i got the email but it never said we were changing the date.
ohhh yeaaaa.
ok bye.
bye

OMFG D@*#%!*(@^$(!@#^%&*(^!@#$ I WAS ROYALLY PISSED OFF. If you know me, you know VERY well that I am NOT a morning person. Just this weekend I slept till 230 in the afternoon. So I have to go through this whole routine again on Wednesday. Ive been considering dropping this organization because of who is in charge.....its beginning to sound better and better. This is really ridiculous.

on the bright side, it is a beautiful rainy day today. i love rain. Its so wet. lol. It makes me want to sleep. AND it means here comes the damn cold weather...ugh. Im not a big fan of winter....its waaay too cold for me.

also. my phone network has been down for days....thats Tmobile for you. but I wouldnt change my company. Theyre not that bad. But I am going to call and complain so I can get some kind of credit charged to my account. 4 days with no internet!? ugh, how am I supposed to talk to my husband on msn?!! Someone will pay for this....

ok I think Ill do that now before the wait gets too long....


Test today, gta study a lil.


and theres only 2 more days till my baby turns 23!

and 19 days till my Stephy gets married!!! OMG OMG OMG!!

(which means theres 17 days till I get my day off...muahahahaha)

Help! I need somebody, Help! not just anybody.

Ok I know its been like two whole months almost and Steph has been bugging me to update this but I have been so busy and exhausted August and September just flew right by me!
I started school, day and night classes. So heres how my days pretty much go: 715-alarm, which I repeatedly hit snooze on till about 7:40.
8:15-drop off my mom at work
8:30-drop off Bobby at school, fight the war for parking.
8:50 to 10- goof off. eat. homework. facebook. study. call from mom about randomness. text. wander around.
10-walk to class.
11:15-gym on tues/thurs till 1245-drive to work (on M/W i go straight to work at 11:15)
When-I-get-to-work till about 2pm-more homework. read news. check email. make flyers for HSF. do whatever I gta do.
2pm-start mentally preparing myself for swarms of children in t minus 45 minutes. deal with boss. call from mom.
3pm-kids. chaos. homework. yelling. can-i-borrow-a-nickel!?. running. STOP! QUIET! laughing. talking. call from mom. Miss-whats-the-answers?!. want my cheetos?!. climbing under/over/around tables/chairs/counters. STOP IT! SHUTUP! *begin mumbles...these little fuckers*
4:15pm-Middle School kids. deal with boss. whats volooom.(volume) whats the answer. whats ur problem. can i borrow a dollar (yes they get more expensive with age). want some skittles?!. youre broke. do my homework. deal with boss. i dont wanna do my homework. ill do it at home. Im gna throw ur backpack in the trash! etc....
5-7 moderate quiet. and distraction. call from mom. deal with boss. endless reapeats of the same dumbass songs over and over on youtube. miss this dont work. miss my internet!. miss can you put me on (insert website here). hes bugging me. its too loud i cant hear my music. etc.
7pm-rush out to ride to go to school.
7 to 815-class
830 to 11-eat. bathe. feed dogs. phone.
11-call husband, hang up. wait for him to finish his ufc/chess/warcraft/dbz/fightnight game.
1130-phone. sleep.
Weekend - Sleep till 2, homework, love husband, finish day.
repeat.
so now you see why it has taken me 2 months to do this.
ridiculosity.

and so we are 3 weeks from the wedding.
all hell has broken loose with my poor Stephie and Im not there to kick anyones ass. But shes a big girl, she can take care of her self.

and I have 7 days till my husbands birthday.
AND NO GIFT. usually i have something already wrapped and waiting. no dice. I have no idea what to even get this time. omg. time to panic.

and I have 2 weeks till Stephs shower
and NO GIFT. But i still have a little time for that one. Besides im her bff. thats a great gift right Steph : D....lol

And then theres about a month till Halloween
I have to work on the 30th. extra hours, no pay. Such is this hell hole they call a non profit organization. Its is all a scheme to run sweat shops for no expense. Lots of work, shitty pay. No help.
and my mom and brother will be in Reno for 3 days (10/29-10/31) and I will have to feed myself. o lord.


Help me.

Yeah, we went out last night!

Hmm so I have been pretty occupied since Tuesday. Like I said it was Baltas Bday and we went to Wings N More in the MarqE. The thing about wings and more on a tuesday is that you have to have youre WHOLE party there before you can be seated. That is bull. Well most of us were there on time but we were waiting for abt 3 people so we figured wed sit and add a table later is needed. The waitress was really nice about trying to figure out how to accommodate us but my mom was being crazy as always and stopping this other waitress that looked like our waitress over and over again.

MOM: R U our waitress?!?

WAITRESS: 0.o No. ?:)

She walked off n my mom refused to sit down...she was just hovering over the ppl at our table. She was being VERY impatient (she prolly hadnt eaten, she gets that way)Then that SAME girl came back n went to her table n my mom stops her again.

MOM: Hi, we have 3 more people coming. Can we add a table? or can we just push our table up to that booth there? R u our waitress?(it was right next 2 our tables)

WAITRESS: We dont add tables. *walks off*

RUDE! that girl was a bitch, my mom was annoying, but she was STILL a bitch. my mo mhad to have asked at least 2 more times if she was our waitress. lolol. Well our waitress, who I would like to add looked NOTHING like that other girl, comes and explains nicely that we could add chairs but NOT tables. She also told us that the people there had yelled at her before for adding a table. (She said at her location in Katy they cld do it but she was temporarily moved there for some reason)The service is rly bad @ that Wings. We shlda stayed in the hood n went to the one off 45.

n e who the rest of the night was fun.

Wednesday I didnt do too much but John n Crystal came over and we just lounged around on my porch like hobos. Well not exactly I guess. It may be a New York thing, thats where Johns from. They stayed till like 10 or so. It was a nice evening.

Last night was Crystals Bday dinner/trip to bar. That was pretty akward bc the people at the table didnt rly know each other, but once we got our food n moved around a bit everyone was cool. My husband went with me to the dinner which was super surprising considering that he doesnt have too much of an attachment to Crystal. But he was actually good about being there. I love him : ). Crystal got pretty much nothing but Twilight crap...i hate that move, its stupid. After dinner we went to Wild West. I was supposed to go to a bbq that one of my coworkers was having but I didnt want Crystal to shoot me with her eyes. Besides it was her Bday. So we went for the 1$ cover charge n cheap drinks. It was pretty cool. I loved loved loved the music. All country cept for the occasional hippity hop song. n the white people were abso-freaking-lutely hillarious! Also there was this one asian girl dancing all by herself all night. She was really into it too. lmfao! She was worth that whole dollar! Millions of pictures, drinks, and dances later it was 12 and I was tired. We have jobs, so we had to go home.

I did stop by Emilios (the bbq) for like 15 minutes b/c I still had to take my queer home. My bro stayed there. It was kinda boring...then again I was not drunk and VERY tired. So I took off.

Now for the weekend! woo! Its FINALLY Friday. I have been waiting forever it seems. Today is also my mother in laws birthday (yes there are 4 birthdays in a row, i didnt mention my cousin ashleys bday was Wednesday, crazy week)I think her thing is on Saturday tho. We shall see!

Ill be sure and update over the weekend. We'll see how the drama plays out over the weekend. Hopefully not bad....

Youre a jerk! I know,

Another day at work. One more day closer to Friday!

It was pretty smooth today. A few flyers had to be made here and there..and the damn air conditioner went out (horrible! its freaking HOT). Other than that not too bad.

I actually feel kinda good today...like 50% better than I did yesterday. Not completely healed but Im getting there quicker than I thought I would. My man agreed to cut off all communication with the interfering parties. (Basically some HOES, and I call them hoes because they were BOTH married women and one of them has a 9 month old, were trying to hit on my boyfriend. Well basically they were throwing themselves at him and i did NOT like it obviously) He made a call and sent an email and all is done with. One of the skanks has some crazy secret that will supposedly ruin her life if it is released to the world...oh temptation why must you make me chose. And she started talking shit on myspace of all places, like we were 16. Saying she was grown and had no time for childish games. Well sweetie pie, if you were grown you would have 1)Not tried to mess with a taken man and 2)you would not have started talking shit and threatening people when you were in no place to do that. I SHOULD tell the whole world, just put it out on myspace and let the vultures have at it. But I wont. I SHOULD tell her husband what she was doing. She was not supposed to even be talking to my bf and thats been going on for years, much less trying to get him to sleep with her. But I wont. Because I am nice. I am a good person. (I keep trying to convince myself that its OK that she got away with this because someday karma will coma back and bite her in the ass.)

Anywho, the other one was pretty cool about it. She understood and didnt make any scenes or cause any myspace drama.

Soooo...also today is one my friends birthday. Hes finally turning 18 even though he looks 20...hes like 6'7. Happy Bday Balta btw. 2 for Tuesday wings tonight! and then Thursday my other friend turns 21! woo! So its gna be a busy rest of the week, and hopefully an active weekend.



IM SO HOT. Thats enough writing for today.....

Go On, Go On

It has been a LONG day at work.
Well everyday is a long day at work. I work with kids of all ages so you can just imagine all the noise and add and adhd and so on. By the time I get home everyday Im exhausted.
And relationship problems do not help with the human energy crisis. Ive been trying to deal with people trying to interfere in my relationship and take it for themselves or and its been hard, to say the least. All i can do is forgive and try to put it behind us. And Pray. Which I normally do anyway but the past few weeks Gods voicemail has been full of my pleads and promises and bargain proposals. I try to take it day by day but my days feel more like millions of years at a time. And no one really knows what to say to help me. Which is completely understandable but still. Im alone, surrounded by a million kids, surrounded by the millions of people outside this building. And like I said, its hard. Ive been feeling every emotion that I have ever known in such a short amount of time. Sad, angry, hurt, depressed, alone, happy, lucky, in despair, grieving, laughing, crying, blessed, thankful, wonderous, and the list goes on and on.
Surprisingly none of my friends that I have told have uttered the dreaded "just leave him, hes not worth it". Which I am so happy for. Because he is worth it. I have put countless amount of effort into this relationship to get it to where we were happy and healthy and in love. I love him with everything that I have. And I refuse to let something, no ANYTHING, get in the way of our happiness. Ive heard a lot of apologies, which ones were genuine I have no idea. Ive heard all kinds of i love yous, your beautifuls, and more Im sorrys. I seem to have lost all feeling.
"Nurse, can I get a little less numbing liquid in the IV? It seems Im losing my ability to breathe"
Ive lost track of time. I just want to redeem the complimentary time machine that comes with the You Have To Deal With Major Bullshit This Month package. Seems my coupon for that has expired or is no longer valid. Damn.
So what else is there for me to do but let the healing process run its course. Forgive and TRY to forget. King George says, Go On, even when you see no reason to.
Turns out 21 is not getting off to such a great start. And I havent even taken advantage of my legal drinking abilities yet, boo.
I will survive...can you tell the radio has been my bff lately. I will always love this man. No matter what becomes of us. And I think maybe this is the right time for this to happen. Before we are married with children, because if WE can get through this we can get through anything. I know in my heart, DEEP in my heart right now, REALLY DEEP, that he loves me. For me. And one day God will lead us back to happiness. Back to the place where we were before this. And into our future. Im gna love you forever and ever, forever and ever, amen.

Pose for the Camera now, Click Click Click.

Ok so this is my first REAL blog (i.e. not a myspace blog lol) . Here goes nothing!



Today I got a call from my best friend in the UNIVERSE! She was in town taking her engagement pictures. Im so excited for this wedding. Its like my little sister is all grown up! (Well some days she dnt act like it lol) Its crazy to think back and remember all the laughter and tears that we shared as kids and now shes ready to start her own life! Most people dont realize Steph just showed up on my doorstep one day, originally looking for my brother, and she became a part of my family. Shes grown with me and I will do whatever it takes to please my very own bridezilla because I wuv her! (Also I know that Ill be as bad if not worse than her when it comes to be my turn so I better be nice, right?) Anywho, the pictures that I saw came out great. I got there late because she kept getting lost around the city and kept calling me for directions so I just figured I would drive out to where she was so she could follow me. So much for that bright idea. Her future mother in law drives SUPER slow. I think I even saw them almost hit a car lol. Shes just not used to driving in the city I guess. We went to a park in the neighborhood that we grew up in, and then we were going to go to St Josephs @ that little garden thing they have but its closed on the weekends...boo wtf is that about? Well then we went to the water wall. I had never been there before but Ive passed by it countless times. It was really pretty. I wouldve like to take some pics with the skyline in the background but ur mans not from here so idk how he woulda liked that. Besides his mom mighta had another opportunity to get lost. lololol.
Well Stephie and her future esposo looked wonderful in thier cute little matching clothes....and the first words to come out of my boyfriends mouth when I got home to show him the pictures I took were....

"were not gna have to do that right?"

"yes we are, theyre cute!"

"damn you woman and your weird rituals..."


Can you tell my baby dont like taking pictures. lol. Hes in for a huge suprise after he proposes...dnt tell him tho, it might scare him off. (lol jk)
All this wedding stuff is still kinda surreal to me. Its happening so FAST! Theres only 2 1/2 months left and time is flying. Seems like yesterday I got the call that she was engaged. (Note: It took all I had not to scream and jump for joy in the library that I was in o.0) Girl when I see you in that dress be ready for the water works. (Reminder to self: wear waterproof mascara) We still have a few things that need to be worked on...like music. BIG IMPORTANT THING. We should start on that really soon. I know thats kinda my job too bc I know more music that you guys do hahahahaha. I dont know exactly what else. Its kinda hard being maid of honor and not being close to the action. I wanna help put everything together and stuff but im so damn far! And the moms are kinda taking over too...we coulda saved a LOT of money had we the time and patience to shop around lol. She lives kinda far from me so Im kinda watching from the background, which sucks. But Im happy to be a part of this even from far away. She knows whatever I can do I will do. BTW what do you want as your wedding gift. Ill never know what to get you. I mean I would know what to get YOU but not both of you! I also have to write my toast for the reception...omg talk about pressure. Its all good though, Im an english minor, I can do this! Just dont cry when I start talking Steph! (Note to Stephanie: also wear waterproof mascara or I will have to kill you for ruining your makeup!!)
So many things to do, so little time.
Start preparing yourself girl, itll be here before you know it!
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(R u happy now? There is your blog woman!)

Addressed to the love of my life

"To whom I owe the leaping delight
That quickens my senses in our wakingtime
And the rhythm that governs the repose of our sleepingtime,
The breathing in unison
Of lovers whose bodies smell of each other
Who think the same thoughts without need of speech
And babble the same speech without need of meaning.
No peevish winter wind shall chill
No sullen tropic sun shall wither
The roses in the rose-garden which is ours and ours only
But this dedication is for others to read:
These are private words addressed to you in public."



Amor,

Simplemente te quiero expressar mis sentimientos para que sepas que aunque tal ves no te lo diga suficiente, yo te amo con todo lo que soy. Tu eres mi poder y mi religion. Desde el principio yo sabia bien que me robaste el corazon y nunca iba poder alcanzar a que me lo regresaras. Al ver te me enamore. The first day I saw you I knew I wanted to love you. I knew that no matter how long it took, it would be worth the wait. I was right. We have had our ups and downs, outs and ins, and even overs and unders. I want you to know that I will be right by your side always, to support you through anythng and everything that comes our way or tries to break us apart. We have a love that makes everyone around us jealous. We are ALWAYS happy, even when we are sad, and that makes us strong. Our bond is one that will not be broken. There is nothing in this world that can come between us. I hope that we can live in this elation for all time. I want to be viejitos in matching rocking chairs watching the sunset. As time passses and our love grows we are tried and pressured, we live through death and destruction, we are surrounded by poverty and wealth. But somewhere in between the lines, there is us. Simple as that. Nadie en el mundo me pudiera quitar de tu lado. I want to tell you not to be afraid. To trust in our love and devotion to each other and to know that we are each others suns and moons and stars. When you are sad, I am sad. But I am strong for you, so that I can make you smile that mischievious little smile that brightens my world. Yo vivo por esa sonrisa y tus carisias. I cherish every second of our time. I appriciate every thing you do for me no matter how small. I love you for getting me my pants off the floor! You take care of me my love, puking and crying and hurting; and even though you may feel like you dont need help, I will be there just in case theres a random bar of soap on the floor and you stumble. My words do not rhyme. And though there is genuine feeling behind them, they are not enough to express my feelings for you. We have both made mistakes, some more insignificant than others. No matter how much our mistakes affect us if we push through them and remember that the love between us is bigger than anything or anyone, our mistakes will make us stronger. Our lives are hard my love, and though we tell each other and try to convince ourselves that it will get better, life will always be hard. Sometimes, like now, harder than others. I would do and give anything to heal your hurt and sorrow. I only want to see you happy. You are my everything, my rock, my sanity, my light. If my light goes out how can I be expected to see through the affliction? I ask God to watch over you when Im not there to do it myself, because if anything ever happened to you....well I would end up as bad as the acting was in the last Rocky movie, worse. Sad huh? You are my fighter. You provide everything I need to get by and make it through my days. I wish you could have known my dad baby. The good parts more than the bad, but I can show you little pieces of him as we grow together. We will both learn from him because he is what I base my life upon. I pray to God every day that he allows us to make it. We will not be our parents. We will be our own family one day and we will have everything that we need. Our children will learn from us as we learned form our parents. We will love them and teach them and spoil them and traumtize them so they can grow up and be better than us....(that way if we cant take over the world ourselves our spawn can! muahahahahahaha!) Until we are ready to grow up and out I am by your side, like i will forever be and have been. Tu tienes mi corazon bebe. Siempre lo tendras. Sin ti no pudiera vivir. Como debo respirar sin aire? When you need to talk I am here. Dont be afraid to let it out, no matter what it is. I will help you to struggle or rejoice. I love you with every thing that I am, with all my heart and soul. You are my other half. Te amo.


"Lord help us to remember when
We first met and the strong
love that grew between us.
To work that love into
practical things so that nothing
can divide us.
We ask for words both kind
and loving and hearts always
ready to ask forgiveness
as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our
marriage into your hands"